Lifeless

Lifeless.
I am completely convinced that the biggest growth occurs after the coldest, darkest, most lifeless times. Let me explain. A few weeks back I was driving my children to school and contemplating some things in my head with God. We had just had a pretty big snowstorm in Colorado that came on the heels of some nice 75 degree weather (perfect for riding with my hubby on the Harley). The yo-yoing temperatures had gotten under my skin. See, if you asked me what time of year is my favorite I would have told you Spring. After all, spring is filled with fresh flowers poking through the ground, bright green buds breaking out from what appears to be dead branches, songbirds filling the air with sweet melodies. Oh sweet spring. But this particular morning, it didn't look like spring. There was day old snow covering the road, no longer the pristine, white blanket that covers everything so peacefully. Instead, this snow was beginning to melt, maybe, but really it just looked.....grey. Honestly it is the same color of a person's skin after they have taken their last breath. The day appeared lifeless. Lifeless is the last word I would ever use to describe Spring but yet that is exactly what this day appeared to be. I began to recount all the circumstances that had gone on in the past few Springs within my own life. Circumstances that when I was in the midst of them made me feel like the life had been sucked out of me. Leaving me hopeless, broken and unable to catch my breath. Lifeless. I began to chuckle to myself. "How in the world did you ever think that Spring was your favorite time of year? Everything bad happens in the spring. Your life completely falls apart in the spring." Then there was this feeling of anger that washed over me, completely unexpected.  Why God? Why does Satan get to steal my favorite season? Why do I go through all these trials while my favorite season is happening around me? Why is there snow where I want to see sun? Why, in place of sun kissed breezes, am I being hit with biting cold instead? Why is everything falling apart right now? I'm sure this conversation went on and on, because sometimes I am a little whiney with God. It's a good thing He loves me anyways. Then suddenly I began to trace the triumph that has ALWAYS come after the trials. The life that can only come after death. Yep, lifeless days lead to days full of life. Isnt that just like God? After all, His plan for our life included the death of His Son. He kind of likes to show up in the midst of death, hopelessness, and complete devastation. Beauty for ashes every single time. That Spring day, I never questioned IF the sun was going to shine ever again, IF I would see my favorite tulips blooming, or IF the buds would breakthrough. Not IF but WHEN.  Rest assured, if you are in a season of Lifelessness Jesus has already paid the price and made the way for new life to come bursting forth. His life is a blueprint, God's master plan. One more thing, those first leaves breaking out, those tulips you see that have risked it all to bloom with snow all around.....Those are the badasses of nature. After all it doesn't take strength or courage to bloom in the sun. But to bloom when the ground is frozen and you are surrounded by Lifelessness THAT takes guts. So go ahead, look around and note the Lifelessness, then take a deep breath and pause, God's plan sometimes unfolds slower than we would like. That just means He is busy making you a badass that can bloom in the snow. So be prepared for growth even when all you see is death and darkness. I promise you Spring ALWAYS happens. And if you ask me today what my favorite season is I will answer Spring. Yes even with the biting cold, snowy days, because those days make me all the more thankful for the sunshine and budding trees. I know the agony and strain those buds went through to become beautiful in spite of the Lifelessness engulfing them all because God has a redemptive, life giving growth plan.