Trust. Intimacy.

I had always thought trust was supposed to be immediately bestowed on people when they entered my life. Which has left me incredibly vulnerable for all kinds messy situations. Trust has to be earned. Through time. I can give people opportunities time earn my trust but I can't give them my everything until they have worked to gain my trust. Trust without hard work is nothing more than another form of prostitution.  To give something of worth to anyone and everyone without proof that they are worthy.  So how do you provide people with opportunities to build trust without getting your heart broken but while still being transparent? I am discovering that 1. You actually can't build trust without the risk of getting your heart broken. 2. If you have complete trust in God, who mind you actually deserves our complete trust, then your heart will never be shattered beyond repair. 3. When I can relax in full trust with God and know that he loves me regardless then I can risk more to eventually trust more.
Perhaps what I thought I gave out so freely before really wasn't trust at all but was some sort of scewed counterfeit. Maybe it was me trying to earn someone's love by showing all of me rather than allowing them to work to see all of me. To prove that they were worthy. Not everyone gets all of me. Time to tighten down the trust belt and bring the close ones in closer. I can still be a glass house, transparent for all to see. But not everyone gets to come inside, walk around and trash what want there's to have. No longer with trust be given immediately. But rather earned through time. It's ok to be at step 2 rather than step 32. Because the steps In between is where true trust and true intimacy are built. I will not rush the process.